Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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