pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
