You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
