I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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