Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
