Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
