i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
how drunk are you?
Several
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
