I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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