I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
do nipples grow back?
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