i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
