she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
