I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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