Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
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