Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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