apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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