He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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