Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
