How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
MIDGETS
????
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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