So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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