I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
