there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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