Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
