Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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