your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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