Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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