if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I just want to make out with him forever
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
