i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Its about making memories worth repressing
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
