He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
