Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
