I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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