I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
