you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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