so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
