do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
