No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
