And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
