If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
