Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
