My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
babies were throwing up all over the place
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
