He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
