Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Dignity is for republicans.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
