She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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