i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
