If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
