Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
