After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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