And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Randomize
