I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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