just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
