You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
